I haven’t blogged in a few months, not because I haven’t been experiencing anything, but because I have been reflecting and focusing on self care.
For most people the new year starts as the clock strikes 12 on New Years Eve. Its a time to make resolutions to work towards in a new calendar year.
For me, I have always used my birthday as a time for reflecting back on the year and also to make the changes and resolutions I want for the the next year. November is a time of reflection and inner speech for me, it always has been.
I have never been the kind of person that makes a big celebration out of my birthday, I do however take an annual birthday trip. I use the trip as a way to refocus myself on the things I find most important, humbling oneself and learning about the world around me.
Once this trip has been taken and I return back to reality, I start to mentally work on the changes that I want to make.
This year I went through all the motions to get to the long planned and long awaited birthday trip that I did not pay much attention to what was happening with me. When I started looking back I realized the signs that I missed I knew that one of the things I had to focus on in my new year was to do more self care and to pay more attention to myself. I had let the signs go on for so long before realizing it could be something more until one day I woke up and people started to notice the signs that I could not see.
After my initial doctors appointment I was anxious. I had no idea what was happening to me other then I was no longer feeling like myself. In that moment I knew I had to stay rational otherwise my mind would run away with me. I could not care for others in that time, I could only focus on keeping myself positive. It worked! By the time I walked into the specialists office I was ready for anything he would throw at me, even the diagnosis of ‘We have no idea what happened and we have no idea if it will happen again. Just monitor yourself’.
Here I am, almost a month into 2018 and I have definitely been taking the time I need to rest, recharge, make healthy changes and be ready to see what tomorrow brings.
The fear I felt with this unknown medical scare was so short lived, minutes, hours maybe. The fear that I felt with my chronic migraines lasted years and I could say I still feel it. But that is for another blog.